


The Lad

by phantomofthehoepera



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Crew as Family, Gen, Young Jack Sparrow, as in it's just a crew having to raise baby jack, because teague is taking a hands off approach to parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomofthehoepera/pseuds/phantomofthehoepera
Summary: In which naming the captain's son is a bit of a group effort
Relationships: Jack Sparrow & Misty Lady Crew
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	The Lad

Johansen is fairly certain where the kid came from, but he wouldn’t take that up with the captain. Not after Teague had made a point of saying he didn’t know who the boy’s parents were when he showed him off to the crew, and shot Johansen a pointed glare. Not very discreet, but enough to make those who know the captain well stay out of it. Besides, that was nearly five years ago now, and most of the speculation has died out. The crew just say he’s the _Misty Lady’s_ son and leave it at that, when they’re asked. 

Johansen’s only concern is what to say when the lad gets old enough to ask, but that day has yet to come. For all he talks, he doesn’t seem to have any curiosity towards that. Or he knows to keep quiet about it, but that seems unlikely. Both Vidar and Tori call him stupid for it, but he’s convinced the lad learned to ask questions before he learned how to answer them, and hasn’t stopped asking since. He’ll ask about why, what and how, until Johansen wants to ask about how they ended up with a philosopher in the body of a small child on board. 

Then there are questions that are even harder to answer. Like how he ended up with so many names. 

It’s not a complicated answer, per se, but Johansen has no idea how to explain to a four year old looking up at him with round eyes why no one’s dared to ask his father, and why no one’s dared to give him a definitive name by themselves. Hell, he barely knows himself. Sure, asking Teague would have gotten him at best some sort of injury, so that’s easy, but why no one else has stepped up and come up with something is beyond him. 

They all have different names for him, which luckily doesn’t seem to confuse him that much. At first he was just ’the lad’, then Tori started calling him _Ko-tori._ She wouldn’t tell anyone what it meant, but Goro later got drunk and revealed that it meant something along the lines of ’little bird’, upon which Vidar immediately proclaimed that the lad wasn’t even a bird, but rather just an egg. Thus, he started calling him Egg, which amused the crew and made Egg angry as he grew older and more aware of the nickname. 

Jean and Gregory called him Eggory for a while, but that didn’t quite stick as well as Egg and neither did Shell, Yolk and Hard-Boiled. Really, the only one Johansen still hears is Eggory, and only when Jean and Gregory pretend to be angry with the lad. 

Some have taken to calling him ’little captain’, funnily enough. Not because of any suspected connections to the real captain, but rather just when he’s in a bossy mood and a few of the crew let themselves get ordered around to his endless amusement. It’s usually Sam, the ship’s doctor, who does it, first asking how the lad is feeling today then switching to little captain and doing a few menial tasks for him if it’s one of those days. ’Aye, little captain, I’ll fetch you that.’, ’Aye, little captain, I’ll trip Vidar.’ and such. Johansen has to admit he finds it rather sweet, especially when the little captain nearly falls over laughing at whatever mischief Sam pretends to carry out. 

Some of the crew have kids they’ve left behind around the same age as the lad, and now and then they’ll slip up and call him by their names. Jonathan, Santi, and more. Johansen doesn’t commit them to memory, since they’re not for him to use. They’re between those parents, their faraway children and the lad they have to look out for in their stead. 

Johansen himself doesn’t have any children to name the lad after, so he ends up taking names from the stories he tells the lad. And he tells a lot of them. It’s the most reliable way to get him to calm down, or just keep him occupied for a few moments if the crew have something important to attend to that requires a distinct lack of children. Johansen would take offense at being set as the nanny in those situations if he couldn’t tell himself that it’s just because he’s that much better at getting the lad to listen, and that much better at telling his stories convincingly. 

None of the stories are particularly fit for children, but neither is growing up with pirates so Johansen doesn’t dumb them down, just makes them a little brighter. He highlights the good and plays down the bad, and adds a happy ending where there isn’t one. Apollo takes a liking to Icarus’ reckless flying and spares him the sun’s heat. Juliet wakes up just in time to stop Romeo. Stingy Jack finds his undead status agreeable and spends eternity bragging about how he tricked the devil. 

Johansen doesn’t expect his names to stick, but he isn’t going to stop using them either. The expression on the lad’s face when he gets called by an actual name, one that isn’t a joke or a painful memory, is far too sweet, too heartbreakingly overjoyed to give up on. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always appreciated v_v


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